Monkey's Thumb CTO Coaching

A guide to gathering feedback

It is often valuable to gather feedback from those around you as part of supporting you to better understand how you are perceived to be performing in your role. This can give you greater clarity about the context in which you are operating and guide you in your thinking of how you want to change and develop.

Here are some tips for getting the most from asking for feedback:

Choose who you ask for feedback

Giving good feedback takes a good deal of thought and work, and so it is worth thinking carefully about who to ask to ensure that the time of the people you are asking is well spent.

When you are choosing, think about how to get a variety of perspectives on your work. For example:

I typically recommend asking for feedback from 4-6 people. This is usually enough to see patterns in people’s responses and get a reasonably rounded picture of how you come across in your work.

Share why you are asking for feedback

Tell people why you are asking for feedback. This helps them understand the context and makes it less scary for them to give feedback that will support you in this.

For example, you could say, “I am starting to work with a coach to support me in improving my performance as your CTO. I would really appreciate your open and honest feedback to help me better understand how I am performing and where I should focus my attention in making improvements. Your feedback will help me get the most out of coaching and support me in my role”.

Be specific when asking for feedback

Broader questions about feedback, e.g. “Have you any feedback for me?”, are generally very hard for people to answer. They will already be nervous about the possibility of getting things wrong in their feedback and the possibility that what they say will hurt you. Not being sure about what you are looking for only increases this uncertainty.

Asking broader questions also means that you are less likely to get feedback about areas that you may particularly want feedback on.

If you give people a bit more guidance on what to give you feedback on, that the can really help, particularly if you frame it in terms of their experience of you.

Asking more specific open-ended questions will help people think more clearly about their feedback and give them greater permission to offer this feedback.

If you are concerned about what you might miss, then you can always end with a catch-all question like, “Have you any other feedback that you think would be valuable for me to hear?”.

Be explicit about options for providing feedback

Some people may be more comfortable offering you feedback in writing, others may be more comfortable offering it in a conversation. It can be valuable to offer people both options.

How will you feel about receiving feedback? This may affect the options that you make available for people to give feedback.

Some people will not be comfortable offering you feedback. If they are not comfortable, then you cannot force them to provide it.

Give the people you ask a time limit for giving feedback

People generally find offering feedback uncomfortable work. This means that it is likely to be work that they procrastinate about.

Make it clear when you need the feedback. It is good if this deadline is relatively short, perhaps one week. Giving them longer will only slow down the process and is likely to increase the amount of time they spend worrying about offering this feedback.

As you get closer to the deadline, it can be valuable to remind people and possibly offer alternative means of giving feedback, e.g. would you like me to schedule a short meeting between us for you to give me feedback?

Monitor your emotions when receiving feedback

Receiving feedback can be tough, and you may feel a strong emotional response when you receive feedback.

There are a number of common situations that occur when you receive feedback that can trigger strong emotions. You may feel like the feedback you are getting is not true, or attacks your view of your identity, or reminds you of some difficulties you have in the relationship that you have with the person giving you feedback.

If you are receiving the feedback in person and begin to feel strong emotions, then take care not to lash out. If in doubt, simply thank the person for the feedback that they have offered and give yourself time to process your feelings before any next steps.

Once you are feeling calm, then you can always ask follow up-questions driven by genuine curiosity to find out more about what is behind the feedback they are offering.

Thank people for their feedback

Always thank people for their feedback.

Feedback is a gift. And it can be uncomfortable and scary to offer feedback, so show your appreciation.

Review the feedback that you receive

Take some time to review the feedback you receive. What are the common themes? What surprises you? What do you feel it would be valuable to find out more about? What are your strengths? Where are your greatest opportunities for growth?

Act on some of the feedback

People offer feedback in the hope that they will see changes as a result. If people offer you feedback and they don’t see any changes, they will stop offering feedback.

You can do two things that will help them be more confident in the process:

  1. Share a summary of what the feedback you gathered told you
  2. Act on the feedback and make some changes

Further resources

More useful resources can be found on my blog.